When life feels too heavy

- a letter from a friend with things they do to try to stay afloat that could also maybe help you.

Dear you,

I would have loved to write a more happy newsletter at the start of the year, but as we all know, life doesn’t work that way. Life is messy and the symbolic start of a new year isn’t going to magically fix that.

This letter is a two-part one. The first half will be me writing to you as someone who needs to write to a friends. The second part is about some practical updates about my tattoo practice, because amidst all the chaos, I still gotta - and want to - do my work and I have some important updates to share.

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PART 1

The part where I write to you as a friend.

So the last two weeks have been completely and utterly shit.

I am going through a lot of feelings and stages of grief and going through it all during the “happy” holidays isn’t making it any easier.

YES there are some days and moments where I feel a bit better and I know that in the end it will get better. But in order for me to get there, I first have to go through it all and for now thats a lot to carry.

It’s probably even harder to carry it alone.

So today I really felt the need to write to a friends. Kind of like how I did when I was younger in lower school where I shared a diary with a friends of mine. Where we wrote to each other back and fourth. Both owning the key to the lock that kept our secrets hidden from the outside world.

This need probably arose after a really needed 1,5 hour phone call this weekend with a dear friends of mine. I’m usually not the person who calls a friend while going through a lot of emotions - I do so maybe afterwards, but not in the moment itself when going through them. Let alone calling a friend while crying. But this time I did. And I’m grateful I made the decision doing so and that I chose this specific person (you know who you are) to call while feeling so vulnerable.

So as an act of care towards myself today I wanted to do something that would take care of me. I decided to write a letter to a friend. And today, you will be that friend.

Because I know that in heavy times, when grieve consumes us and where it feels like our heart is imploding - we all need a friend so we can carry it together.

I’m not ready yet to share the specifics of what has been going on, but I also don’t want to carry it all alone anymore.

So by sharing some small moments of how I try to take care of myself in these times, I hope it reaches that friend that also doesn’t want to carry all the weight by themselves anymore. That they on their turn can share an act of care that helped them with a friend and continue the train of carrying it together.

Here a list of small things that help me to get through the days (-ish):

• Tea
  Lots of it. In my case warm spiced milky tea. I use spices like ginger and cinnamon and always add some honey and oat milk. Chose a beverage you like that nurtures your body and heart. We need to drink water anyway to take care of ourselves (I know this is hard for a lot of neurodivergent human beings though), so better to make something nice for yourself when you have the capacity to do so.
  

• Instant noodles
  I normally already try to always have some packages of good instant noodles/ramen (from the toko) at home for days that I’m overstimulated and in need of my comfort/safe foods. There are a lot of those days lately so I just give in to the fact that it’s okay to eat them everyday. It nourishes my soul and if I’m adding some veggies and proteïne it even nourishes my body. But let’s be honest, I don’t always have the space and capacity to do so, so it’s also completely okay when I don’t do this. I’ll survive and so will you.
  

• Cozy corner
  I created a cozy spot at home where I feel safe and carried by all my many pillows and blankets. Included a lot of soft lights like candles.
  

• Reading
  And with that I mean being proud of myself that I only read a couple of pages. Or one page. I know I would feel good if I read more, but I haven’t been able to do so, so giving myself shit for it is not going to make me feel any better. I am going to reed for 5 minutes after I stop writing this letter. Makes if more doable to start and I will at least enjoy 5 minutes of escaping into a magical other realm.
  

• Going outside
  Which I haven’t done myself today. So this is a reminder for myself that opening the balcony door to breath in the fresh crisp winter air also counts (which I will do somewhere this evening hopefully).
  

• Being nice to myself
  Yes I want to do all the things that take care of me. That nurture me. I want to read the whole morning. I want to move my body everyday. I want to eat healthy food. But lets be honest, these things can be hard to keep up with during good periods. Expecting myself to do these things when not doing well is setting myself up with failure and that is the last thing I need right now.
  

• Writing to a (hypothetical) friend
  Sharing my thoughts and feelings and writing or saying them out loud. Maybe you can call a friend. But recording a voicememo and not sending it someone can also help. Speaking aloud like you would talk to a friend. Get it all out. You don’t have to send it when it feels to vulnerable. At least you are working through all your feelings.
  

• Cry
  Even though it can be a lot to feel all the feelings, I try to just give into it when it needs to come out. Preferably while being hugged by a blanket and pillows in my cozy corner.
  

• “Dumb” distractions
  I got trapped on the optical illusion side of instagram today. Super random but it was exactly what I needed right now. It definitally didn’t solve all my problems but at least my mind was tricked in funny ways while feeling sad. The are probably also playlists with them on youtube if you are not (yet) trapped by them on instagram or want to avoid the platform.
  

But lets be honest, some days will feel like a stormy sea where the waves keep crashing down on you and you are just trying to stay afloat so you can try again tomorrow. Some days - or moments - you will get caught by surprise that you feel a bit better.

Both are valid and when having a stormy sea kind of day; they will be shit and you probably won’t always be able to fix them into better days. So please don’t be harsh on yourself if at the end of the day you just feel as shit (if not more shit) as you started it.

For those friends who are going through rough times; I hear and feel you and I hope the waves will crash a little bit less harder with some time <3.

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Part 2

The part where I still have to (and want to) continue my work - so therefor choosing to share some exciting work related updates.

A lot of change has been going on in my tattoo practice the last couple of weeks. As you probably know already; I made the decision to start tattooing in a new studio in Rotterdam and leave the Ink Society in Utrecht.

With this change also comes a lot of practical things I had to do in order for me to start in the new studio (for example changing all my online information and communication templates and booking system).

But I’m super excited to start in the new studio tomorrow officially as a resident! I can’t wait to all the inspiration and adventures that we all bring. From this week we are now officially with 4 artist and it gets me really excited to work in such an inspirational and small team alongside really talented artists.

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Opening custom bookings

Together with all this change, I also decided to open up my custom bookings again. They were closed for more than a year, but after some custom projects that I did with some regular clients, I got really inspired and excited to take on more custom bookings again!

If you are interested in getting a custom tattoo project, you can fill in this tattoo booking form. There you will also find more practical information about my workmethod for these projects.

Below are some examples of projects that fit my style. More style reference example can be found in this drive folder. THis is just some general reference, if you scroll through my feed on instagram (until max 3 years ago-ish) you will probably have a better idea. Please message me (email, DM, on here) if you have an idea of which you don’t know if it fits my style.

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January Discount deals

January are really slow months for tattooers and most people have a way tighter budget after the holidays. So here are some discounted deals for when you book your appointment in January. This way I am able to still do the work I love to do most and you are maybe able to get tattooed with a tighter budget.

All practical information can be found on the photos below. For example if they are repeatable, prices and maximum sizes when applied. It’s possible to get them tattooed bigger (the lino stamps are a fixed size though), but the price will be higher in this case. Smaller is always possible, but the price stays the same.

You can fill in this tattoo booking form when being interested.

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Thanks again for reading what I have written to you. Especially with these vulnerable letters, it feels a bit more scary to send them. But I know that they help others (and also me) to manage this chaotic and messy life together.

You can always send me a message to get in contact with me if you have any questions, inspiration to share or want to collaborate with me!

With love,
Mandy

Links to my work
✿ Tattoo booking form*
✿ Available tattoo designs
✿ Instagram
✿ Website
✿ Youtube

*I currently only tattoo in the Netherlands, I will share here when I have international guest-spots planned.